Being an older gentleman trimming the hairs that grow out of the tops of my ears, not the inside ones, isn't on my high priority list. The other day I was in the whole foods place out in east liberty when a woman approached me and said, "you poor man, you must not have anyone to take care of you do you?".
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Now even though I'm old and fairly roughed up by father time I know when to let my other head, whom I call Dick, take over and do the talking.
Dick replied sheepishly to this inquiry with a " why no I don't, how did you know?"
To which this stranger said to me, " because your ear hairs look like cat tufts." and she reached over and gave them a tug and a stroke.
At this point I said to Dick, if you ask her a single question using the word 'pussy' in it you will blow this one right out of the water so be careful my friend. Smooth is the key here.
Dick, having been around the block a few times over the last 50+ years agreed and did the only thing he could do that would cinch the deal. He purred.
Well that was the ticket my friends. The next thing I knew I was being tossed around on her bed like a mid day salad.
The funny thing is, my ear hairs never got trimmed.