10. I don't have fleas, I bite my ass because I like the taste of my own poop.
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9. One time when my owner was at work I got into the fridge, ate the tuna and egg salad, and then puked it back into the bowl.
8. Sometimes I dream of being gang raped by a group of dobermans and pit-bulls
7. Sometimes I dream about raping the cat and then killing it.
6. Every day I find my self waking up in a vast sea of self pity and discontent, yet somehow I always manag......wait a second.....did you hear that noise?......... grrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr raf raf raf ra ra ra ra ruff ruff ruff aaaaar bark grrr bark grrr arf arf arf arf arf arf arooooooooooooooooooooooooooooguh bark bark bark ruf ruf bark bark.
5. I have fucked hundreds of bitches.
4. If I ever figure out this whole door knob thing im out of this shithole.
3. If someone tells me to "sit" one more time I swear to christ almighty im gonna loose it. "Want the ball! Want the ball!" NO I DON'T WANT THE FUCKING BALL GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!! And just in case you were wondering I don't want the frisbee, I don't want to play tug, and I shure as shit don't want to roll over. SO STOP FUCKING ASKING ME! Assholes.
2. I never knew my father.
1. Despite what everone tells me, deep down I know im not a good dog.
this is in or around poop town