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So I was waiting for this woman I met online for our first date, drinks on the waterfront. She was late. I sat nervously, looking around. Maybe she was here already and spying on me. I hate that. But then she walks in. I recognized her instantly, and she me. She walked up, smiling, offered her hand and said "I'm Pam. Sorry I'm late. Busy week at the office; I'm an accountant and April is the worst..."
I grabbed her arm, pulled her down to her seat and hissed in her ear. "Pam, we are surrounded by strangers! Don't you think you could be more discreet?" She was puzzled, or pretended to be. So I explained how foolish it was to tell me, a stranger, what she did for a living, not to mention advertising it to the whole bar. And, I thought to myself, not to mention the creepiness of such an inappropriate personal disclosure upon first meeting. What next, a description of her last orgasm? I shuddered inside.
We ordered drinks and talked. I whispered with appropriate caution; her conversational tone struck me as a bit too likely to be overheard, but I smiled and tried to ignore it. I felt sorry for her. I'd walk her to her car later to make sure no one followed her. She continued to offer intimate information, and to ask questions that made me uneasy. "Do you have brothers and sisters?" I vaguely alluded to siblings, but not to their genders, or even whether they were still alive. I do have siblings, but I have to protect them too. "What part of town do you live in?" I tried to stay calm. How could she ask that? Was she a stalker? Or just trying to gauge my wealth by my section of town? I felt like a hunted deer and a piece of meat, all at the same time. I felt bad about lying about what area I lived in. But what could I do?
Then came the killer question. Those four awful words that revealed her for what she was: WHAT...DO...YOU...DO? Now at least I knew I would never go out with this money grubbing whore again, who would risk my life by asking me such a question in a public venue. I excused myself to go to the restroom. Discreetly paid the bill, then snuck out the back way.
I moved to a different apartment that weekend. Just a precaution.
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