In typical south-east fashion, my friend Ashley has left her bike at my apartment. Knowing her natural hipster tendencies, nagging will only result in her running off to coffee or a garage sale instead of making a conscious effort to come to my house to pick up her bike. So, I am going to inform her of this awesome bike for sale. By honing her natural hipster desire to acquire a vintage bicycle at a really cheap price, I will lure her to my apartment. To anyone having greater than 3 tattoos but less than 10, cut-off-at-the-knee jeans, unkempt hair longer than 6 inches with one or more dreadlocks, ear lobes gauged greater than 14 but less than 6, or a trust-fund in your name..... I apologize. You have been duped by my clever advertisement for a vintage bicycle under $75 and will not be able to purchase this bike unless Ashley does not pick it up in 5 days. However, if she fails to pick it up, I will sell it to you... and you can ride it up and down Hawthorne with your butt-crack hanging out. You will be the envy of all other hipsters. But in the meantime, if you see Ashley at your coffee shop, poetry reading, veloship meeting, dragon boat practice, or garage sale.... please tell her I have her bike.
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- Location: My Apartment
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