As I walk toward a toward a table of 4 or 5 of my friends at the front of the bar, carrying my pint glass of whatever beer was cheap (probably a bottle of PBR in truth), I'll catch a glance at you and in just three seconds I'll be pretty sure we need to talk. To be perfectly clear, I will not be out at the bar looking for a one night stand.
QR Code Link to This Post
Those are always fun until the next morning when at 7am a combination of red bull and regret wake me up like a soldier ready for battle. When at my place, I quickly shower and get dressed like I'm headed off speak at a convention or something. I offer you a ride home, really hoping you'll respectfully decline and just cab it or hike it in those heels. If you accept, I will drive you to your place immediately (I do have to take the podium soon, ya know), rambling about 80's hair bands or any other intellectual topic the whole way there to avoid even the slightest chance of awkward silence or a recap of things we already talked about at the bar the night before. As soon as I drop you off, I'll head right back home, change into my pj's, and it's nap time until the rest of Hangover Nation sleeps- usually at least 9:30. When at her place, the process is much more efficient. I'm up early, there's a quick exchange of post-coital formailties, and I'm back in my own bed within 20 minutes, tops. While some might find such experiences fun, especially the sex part (which is fun in itself), anyone who has been there knows that the typical one night stand is actually the opposite of fulfilling. I say typical because when done on vacations, such encounters are usually fabulous. Of course the above processes only apply if I hadn't decided you were dateable when we talked the night before.
Back to you though, Datable-Seeming Girl, whom I will meet this Saturday or Sunday night at a drinking establishment. After you catch my eye, I'll be over at the table or booth with my friends and my general focus will be on them and goofing off as most friends do on a night out, but I will be conscious of you the whole time, knowing that at some point in the very near future I'm going to dive into your dating pool- Cannonball!
You probably won't see me coming because the conversation will start pretty naturally (I'm not gonna walk up to you and do a magic trick). I'll go up to the bar and order another drink, most likely at about the same time you're up there. I can't know now what I'll say to spark up a conversation, but the general feeling of it will be more like two strangers talking to each other at a museum about the amazing things they see around them.
I've always preferred conversation about what's happening right or something better than just background checks when you meet someone. So that's how we'll start. After a minute or two and a few laughs, I'll head right back to my friends' and over the course of an hour or so this process will repeat. This time, though, we greet as old friends and we're starting to hit it off a bit. At this point, my friends and your friends start to migrate towards us and we meet some of them too. People are texting people who are at other bars, shots are being ordered, "how do you know each other" is asked multiple times, and our little assessment (conscious or subconscious) of each other is interrupted. Maybe forever. This is why I'm lobbing out the preemptive missed connection post.
In the clusterfuck that can be the bar scene it's really easy for people to get sidetracked, too drunk, lost, confused, paranoid, silly, pregnant, you name it. Hence, we have thousands of missed connections posts in this country everyday- lots of them resulting from the chaotic bar scene that we propel ourselves into every weekend. If we happen to reconnect later in the evening or on our way out of the bar, it might be too late to recover the "magic" that we had going before. Yeah, we might exchange numbers or encourage a facebook friendship, but at this point it's highly unlikely that our meeting had enough substance to go any further.
So, keep an eye out for me Saturday or Sunday. I'll be the 5'9" guy in jeans and a hoodie with brown hair and eyes who you find yourself chatting up at the bar. I think you're dateable and I would honestly love to really get to know you and maybe even spend the summer hanging out. But...and this is IMPORTANT...as soon as our friends all meet and things start to get crowded and people start to get drunker, let's just get out of there and head to a quieter bar or something so we can really talk.
Let me know what you'll be wearing so I know this is gonna be you.
- Location: Downtown Orlando
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests