Originally Posted: 2008-12-04 10:37pm
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favorite this post Please stop walking around naked - 25th Street - m4w hide this posting unhide

Let me just say that I'm sorry for looking across the street into your window.

But if you are young, blond and beautiful, and walk around nude in your apartment with the lights on and the blinds up, I cannot help it. You are far, far too attractive for me not to notice you.

You see, the human eye is attracted to movement, and the straight male eye is attracted to girls who are smoking hot. And when you practice booty dancing in your underwear in front of the mirror, then I'm screwed.

Tonight, you weren't alone. You AND your Asian friend in your underwear. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I felt slightly ashamed after you lowered the blinds because you saw me watching you. But I should really be thankful, because if you're home, I'm totally unproductive. I can't work out. I can't make dinner. I can't get any work done when I come home at night, which is a problem because I have the kind of job that doesn't stop at happy hour, or on weekends. It's the only way I can afford to live in this apartment with these occasionally incredible views.

Which brings me to why I'm writing this ad. You see, I already have a girlfriend, and I'm not looking for any extracurricular activities. However, I don't understand how you can afford to live in your building, because you have way more fun than I do. That leads me to the conclusion that you must have retired after making shitloads of money before the market decided to ruin everyone's life. Therefore, I would like to ask you for financial advice over a cup of hot chocolate, or, if you're not comfortable meeting in person (I can't imagine why), maybe you could e-mail me with some professional tips. If you would be so kind, perhaps my girlfriend and I could repay you by leaving the blinds up . . .

PS: Looks aren't everything, but you are much more attractive than your friend.

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