To whom it may concern,
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I have no illusions that posting a resume might land me a job; nor do I harbor any hard feelings about your company's real intentions in soliciting resumes. Therefore, I am sending along this delicious, simple recipe, which is perfect for recession season.
8 cups ground experience
2 cloves aspiration, crushed
3 tbs shredded dignity (if unavailable, pride may be substituted)
zest for life
100-200 fresh resumes
Fill a large pot with frustration and bring to a rolling boil. Dice experience and saute over high heat until reduced to about 1/8th original size. Combine aspirations, dignity, hopes and zest for life in a pressure cooker. Cook on high until mixture resembles a heap of shattered dreams.
Place resumes in the work bowl of a food processor and pulse several times. Add resumes and aspiration mixture to the pot and allow to simmer several weeks for best flavor. Before serving, fish out and discard every shred of dignity. (It will lend a bitter flavor if left in the soup.)
Serve with canned responses, garnish with minced words and ENJOY!