A Guy’s Guide to Craig’s List, or Is Alexander Your Middle Name?
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This is a love letter to the guys who enjoy Craig’s List,
I just want you to know how much I love Craig’s List. I’m one of the many that check out CL while at work, like most, and I have had some interesting results.
It’s a New Year, so for any of you guys wondering why you may not have received a response, or if you’re interested in placing a new ad, here’s one take from the feminine perspective:
1. First of all, please remember that women are women, and have to be careful when responding to ads from strangers. If your post or response has ANYTHING in it that might be seen as harmful, misogynistic, or psychotic in the least way, we will NOT respond. In your mind, you may be trying to be funny, but we can’t always tell the difference. If there’s ANY doubt, we’ll just skip your post, and go to the next one.
2. Your picture is CRUCIAL, though not for the reasons you think. A picture really is worth a thousand words. Your pic gives details into your personality, and your nature, and it’s all we have to work with. A woman will get an idea of what you’re like from your picture (and words), and decide whether or not to respond. It’s not just about looks, although to some people (men included), it’s everything. If you say you’re an artist, don’t send a picture of yourself in your cubicle at your financial company. If you’re single, don’t send a photo with your arm around a girl (whether it’s an ex or a platonic friend). I am not making this up. If you’re serious about meeting someone online, please take the time to get a decent picture. You or someone you know has a digital camera. Make sure you get a picture that shows your face clearly, as a guy that we would like to meet. A sister or female friend can help you choose the right one, if you’re not sure. And another thing, don’t send a nude photo unless I ask for one.
2a. If an ad asks for your picture, or anything else specific, please supply it in your response. If you don’t send one, the gal may think that either you have an issue with your looks, or that you can’t follow directions. Either way, her finger will be itching to delete your email. Ignore this point at your own peril.
3. If you place or respond to a post, women love personality. It doesn’t have to be long, but personally I prefer the ads that show your “flava”. New York can be rough for singles, and no one wants to spend time uncovering what they thought you meant. If you really want to meet someone, we need a little more info than “Looking for my future relationship. Email a pic.” Also, watch your typos. I’m not a stickler, but many women are. Some women see the misspellings as sloppiness on your part, write you off, and will go the next post in a heartbeat, no matter how wonderful you and your post are. Remember, your post is all that we have to work with. Make it good! Don’t say you weren’t warned.
4. Don’t respond to more than one gal with the same lines. When a friend and I placed ads on CL for the first time, we both received the exact email from a guy saying that we were “sensual and demure”. You already KNOW that women talk. Be smarter than this! Other women may have complained or made a joke to the guy in question. We just deleted him from our inboxes.
5. Time is of the essence. If you place an ad, you will get the most responses in the first couple of days. Strike while the iron is hot, and make dates to meet asap. Don’t place an ad today if you can’t meet with anyone for a few weeks. By that time, the sense of urgency will have cooled, and/or she might have met someone else through CL, and you’ll be the one waiting.
6. I met a really cool guy from Belgium through CL. We had two amazing dates before he went into seclusion. I have no idea what happened, but it’s not the fault of Craig’s List or being a New Yorker. Sometimes, guys just don’t call back. On the plus side, he didn’t say that he would, and I can respect that. But DAJ, if you’re reading this, holla back! Sigh...
Here’s hoping that 2003 will bring lots of love and fun dates to you all!