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Im sorry to tell you that your thin girlfriend is leaving you. She has her reasons, the most important among them being that shes really, really hungry.
I know youll miss the Skinny Bitch, but the upside is that you can have a new girlfriend in her place who looks and acts almost identical to the girlfriend youre losing. Id say that you might not even notice the difference. Its true that the new girlfriend will take up slightly more space in the bed. You wont be able to see the new girlfriends ribs. But shell probably be nicer to spoon with, because her hipbones wont be sticking out and catching you in the groin during nocturnal rollovers. The new girlfriend will also smile a lot more than Skinny. Shell probably have lot more energy for things like playing frisbee in the park. (And, as an ultra-special bonus for you, my boymore energy means a better libido! We both know that you and Ms. Skeleton havent been getting it on that much because shes always tired. Trust me, this curvy replacement will be far more satisfactory in that department.)
Your new girlfriend wont be wearing size zero jeans. She wont order just a salad unless thats what she actually wants for dinner, and trust me, it wont be often. Shell be working out every day, just like the old girlfriend, but shell probably eat something aside from carrot sticks afterward. Shes going to be a healthy, lean, strong, 120-pound goddess. Shes going to have a killer ass.
Which leads me to the last, most important difference between the Skinny Bitch, who is leaving you, and the Curvy Babe, who will be taking her place: Curvy isnt going to be putting up with anymore of your bullshit remarks or cheap shots. Shes not going to tolerate it when you tell her that shed be so hot if she just worked out a little more. Shes not going to be ok with you grabbing the extra flesh on her hips and saying, What the hell is this? or telling her she shouldnt wear skirts because they make her look fat... in fact, if you try any of this, shell probably use some of her new-found energy and hard-earned muscle to punch you in the jaw. Youd better keep the comments to yourself, or better yet, stop wanting to make the comments altogether. Your girl is more than just her bodyat one time, you were attracted to her intelligence, her sense of humor, her varied interests. In case you hadnt noticed, that exhausted waif youve been hanging out with lately hasnt been too smart, funny, or sexy. So say goodbyeshes going out for ice cream, and shes not coming back!