Originally Posted: 2005-03-09 11:20am

favorite this post Re: Who's this SLIG guy?

You asked:

Who's this SLIG guy everyone is speaking about?

Well, once upon a time there was a virtual community whose inhabitants Ranted & Raved, anonymously, about anything and everything, much to the delight and dismay of many. Inane ramblings mattered not because the world continued to turn despite the revelations of lunatics. There was "THE TRUTH ABOUT CRACKERS" guy, the illiterate retard who couldn't compose a sentence worth a damn, Gap Jacket Guy, Slip Pickeral, Awn, and countless others who dropped in from the ether to assist us all in wasting our time.

Then came SLIG.

Now this gent SLIG took great pleasure in challenging peoples views on most anything; he took particular pleasure in rebutting the democratic/liberal perspective on most anything, being the conservative thinker that he was proud to be. Many people far and wide took great offense to his proclamations which, in reality , were quite grounded. However, the more he spoke the more it became clear that he was nothing but a self absorbed, narcissistic, and smug troll. For example, Slig would always have women frothing at his feet, he would always be making more money than he could spend, he would drive the hottest car, be more patriotic than the next; all in all, he thought of himself as THE man's man and THE woman's man: Mr. Ultimate. Period.

Then someone found out a litle something about him: He was the subject of a website, i.e. singlelongislandguy. Ergo, SLIG. Now on this vanity website the gent known as SLIG invited hot chicks to contact him; he showed us pictures of his bowflex, his livingroom, and most importantly, his bearded self majestically dressed in his finest garb, handkerchief and all. Having uncovered his likeness and virtual identity, he became the butt of many a joke. Nothing was sacred. Not his beady eyes, his car, his furniture, his bowflex, the hanky. Nothing. As you can imagine with the society that inhabits R&R, SLIG was a target.

To his credit, Slig weathered the storm in the way that only Slig could, with intelligence suffocated by arrogance, and an inflated sense of self importance that more than amply revealed his blindness. He just wouldn't hear anything. Indeed, he couldn't. He pushed and pushed and pushed, daring anyone and everyone who took a contrary view. He even dared the world to find him.

Then it came. A sole inhabitant of R&R, while perusing the real estate classifieds, found a picture connected to a name, connected to a job, connected to a telephone number. And with both his website picture and this newfound picture rabid R&R's compared. SLIG was outed.

Alas, as only SLIG could do, the connection was denied and denied and denied again. And through the denials, more pictures were uncovered, more affiliations, more websites, all containing evidence connecting the dots: the handkerchiefs, the cars, the years in military service, the beard, the beardless, the hair, the occupation, etc, etc, and etc. And by miraculous coincidence, the "not" SLIG websites came down, swoosh, for not a soul to see ever again. And through it all, the man known as SLIG said "I am not Tony," "I am not Phil," "I am not in real estate," "I am not....."

And today, SLIG is supposedly basking in the sun, reveling in his taunt of "idiots," waiting the requisite ten days until the last deluge of Sligisms move onto their destruction.

But those misfits who inhabit the darkest reaches of R&R are a resouceful lot. They have patience and poise; they are driven to continue the saga of that unfortunate gent known as SLIG because he unwittingly has been the most recent and best reason to forsake our real lives and wander about the virtual world known as Rant and Raves.

And now you know.

post id: 62983129

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