Brain's going a mile a minute...
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To the girl I work with- fuck you, you think you have problems, you have no IDEA what I went through this weekend. I hope you choke on your truck-driving boyfriend's pubes.
To my ex-non-boyfriend or whatever the hell you are- thanks for cussing at me in the street and treating me like shit on Saturday. So glad I lied to get out of work for that. I'm sure I'll cry later, but for right now I'm happy to not be dealing with your moody-ass shit.
To the fucker who broke into my car and stole my guitar- why didn't you take everything in there? Or at least everything EXCEPT the one thing my father left me before he died.
To the bitch cunt lady who screwed me out of $100 for my bed- I hope your son has a good time sleeping in it. My ex-non-boyfriend peed on it numerous times and I can't TELL you how much KY there is rubbed in it.
To the other girl I work with- yeah, I farted. And it stunk. Deal.
To the motherfucker yuppie scumbag that ran into me today and didn't tell me sorry- I'm naming the bruise on my arm after you- "stinky penis face with the rancid combover." Way to treat a lady, bud.
To my boss- maybe I would wear nicer clothes to work if you PAID me more. And the last time I checked, my hearing is excellent.
Dude, I feel faboo...