It all took place on a rainy Saturday night. I met you at a loft part and things were going smashingly well. You and I played the piano together, discussed music and all things hip until the wee hours of the morning. I don't know if you remember what happened next but we decided to leave the party together. We strolled along the streets together, continuing our witty drunken banter, knowing full well that we were destined for your apartment for activities of the naughty kind.
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But then I had to go ahead and ruin things by taking a leak . I regret this decision, as perhaps things would have ended up differently had I not felt the urge to piss on the dirty streets of New York. At first I was delighted you didn't seem disgusted by the call of nature but then... you did something so shocking that my sex drive went from a 10 to a 2 in a matter of seconds.
You...uh...You danced around in my pee! Not only did you prance around in a stream of my urine but you cupped your hands in the puddle of pee I had just created and started splashing around in it.
Look, I like freaky girls but this was a little bit too much for me to handle at 4am on a Saturday night in public having only known you for a few hours. So I freaked out a bit and as far as getting the necessary blood required to bone you was most definitely out of the question.
So here I am, 3 days later, thinking...you know what? I'm down with pee. I'm down with your crazy pee dancing ways. So give me a wee shout and we can recreate the moment and I promise not to get all pissy about it.
Only this time, I would appreciate a little R. Kelly music in the background for inspiration.
I <3 you urine dancer...lets make this work.