My wife's vacuum cleaner is the loudest thing ever (even louder than her snoring) and my wife hates it because it barely works (kind of like her brother) so she has given me an ultimatum: buy me another one or I start randomly deleting things on your TiVo.
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People of Virginia Beach, I humbly implore you to sell me a working vacuum cleaner (bonus if it comes with attachments) for $25. I am not a single mother with eleventy kids looking for pity, I am but a man looking to protect the greatest gift one can have, a TiVo.
This Thanksgiving when I sit with my family to wolf down my meal in 10 minutes that took my wife 5 hours to prepare because I have the football game paused in the other room, it is you who I will be most thankful for. So please sell me a vacuum for $25. Don't do it for me. Don't do it for my family. Do it for TiVo.
It will earn you "Save Until I Delete" status in my heart forever.
And 25 bucks.
UPDATE: Dear fellow Listafarians, usually I would delete afterward, but since it is Thanksgiving, I wanted to thank you all for your tremendous outpouring of support (and marriage proposals). Because of viewers like you I now have a new vacuum and my TiVo is safe. May you all receive the equivalent of a karmic PBS tote bag.
Craig bless us everyone (except you, creepy old man who invited me to "help myself" to anything in his basement. I'm not falling for that one. Again.)
Random Guy on the Internet