To all of you who are driving the speed limit in the left lane...MOVE THE FUCK OVER.
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I don't even see you looking in your mirrors. Are you pretending you don't know I'm right the fuck behind you? I hate you. I'm screaming at you and pointing to the right lane but, you don't care. You own this highway and no one, and I mean no one, will tell you where to drive. There is no one even in the right lane....for miles. You still refuse. I could go on the right and pass you, this is true but, I feel a moral obligation for the next driver coming up behind me to enforce the 'left lane code'. I wait on you. Give you some space...two car lengths, three, four. MOVE OVER! You still don't budge. I see the driver behind me coming up fast. He has no patience for you. He veers into the right lane and soars by your red 1982 Horizon. I think to myself...you're definitely going to move over now. I mean, a guy just flew by you like you were standing still. I edge up a bit...nothing. You won't be deterred. I decide you need a little nudge. I flash my brights...very quick. On...off. That's it.
And that was IT for you. You fucking asshole. You slam on your brakes....IN THE LEFT LANE and I veer over to thr right. Now amazingly, you happened to find the gas pedal and proceed to race along side of me, swerving back and forth trying to force me into the shoulder. As I'm saying Hail Mary's, I look down and see we are approaching 80mph...(I know what you're thinking, I also didn't know a Horizon could get up to 80). I hang back because I realize now you have a death wish and don't care who comes along.
Just then you swerve in front of me into the right lane and slam on your brakes again...you fucking donkey. I decide if this is the game you want to play, GAME ON. I throw on my brights and we drive. Yeah bitch, we drive. And guess what....I can do this FOREVER. I have no place to be.
And I just have to ask, wouldn't it have been soooo much easier to have just slid over to the right lane from the beginning? Hell, if you would have, I might have flashed you a smile and maybe, just maybe, my tits.