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Dear Mr. Penis
My condolences on your lack of inspiration as of late, however I know someone who knows someone who might want to make this world a better place for you. Her name is Miss Vagina.
I met Miss Vagina one early evening while sitting in a warm bathtub with Mr. Bubbles pink soap suds surrounding me. I looked down and felt a nice sensation when the washcloth passed by me on the way to the drain. Ohhh. Hello there I said. And from then on, we were best of friends.
Balding although she chooses to be at the moment, she likes to be touched, pursuaded, tickled and even fed. She prefers one big meal as opposed to several small short meals. Toothpicks are not necessary as Miss Vagina wears dentures lol Vagina comes with me where ever I go. Quite the companion on cold lonely nights in the city. Last week she was sick and I nursed her back to health although I have to say....we need to keep her away from red food coloring.
Mr Penis should be quite impressed as this Vagina is not like the rest of them or like the slutty other relatives in Ohio called the Vagabond Vagina clan who hang around all stubbly and unshowered. They spit and chew anything in sight while Miss Vagina remains to be seen as one of the purest in the family.
She laughs while watching Taebo, is scared of crothety old Mr. Penises who hoot and hollar at her from across the street, She has a black lace fetish and adorns herself in precious European scents from France, Spain and Italy.
Miss vagina truly is my best friend and I am willing to let you get to know her...but of course I do need to approve first. After all that is what best friends do. Pics are nice! And god damn put some clothes on. Miss vagina isnt going ot send you naked ass pictures of herself so neither should you!