OH MY GOD!
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As if I didn't have enough of a horrible holiday because of you and your maniacal girlfriend and your loud, filthy sex, you, my brother, responded to my casual encounters posting last night.
I think I speak for every ounce of my being when I exclaim: WHATTHEFUCK!!!!!
Look, I realize you have needs, too, especially after having met your girlfriend. But frankly, considering the amount of sex you had this holiday week/weekend and the amount I had to listen to, not to mention how I had to put up with you and your foul stench* during "family time," among enduring other family drama, I needed last night!!! But NO, you were among the first to respond and do you even THINK I could go on after that? I had to sterilize my MF computer. I had to wash myself like I was going into the goddamn operating room. I was the daughter Howard Hughes didn't have. In short, I was completely traumatized.
I know Craigslist is anonymous and all, but for fuck's sake....ahhh! Yesterday when we parted ways at our parents' house, I came back to Houston to my job and my life and you were off to whereverthefuck you're loafing these days. Couldn't you have stayed there? Can't I even have freaking Houston CL casual encounters to myself for one night?!
So if you emailed me last night and I never responded, you know why. I was busy going into cardiac arrest and lysol-ing my soul after being hit up for sex by my BROTHER.
Happy goddamn new year.
And P.S. to all the people who continued to email me today: I said TONIGHT ONLY last night. That meant LAST NIGHT ONLY. That goes for the people who emailed me into the wee hours, as well. Don't you people have jobs? Oh wait, no. Because one of you is my BROTHER!!!
*foul stench= No, I'm not retarded. I know you were in the garage getting high when you said you were out there "looking around." Oh yeah, and mom already knew when I told her. Just like old times, pothead brother. Just like old times.