Originally Posted: 2007-01-03 02:33 (no longer live)

re: I think it's hot - 28m

What I think is funny is the men out there that have these grand expectations about how women "should" be in bed. Like you people have any room for complaints. Most guys fuck like they're still in high school: in out in out in out in out in out in out...doggystyle...in out in out in out in out...spoon...in out in out in out in out....back to missionary...in out in out in out..."can I put it in your ass? Oh ok, back to doggystyle then? Ok thanks" in out in out, grab a boob, smack an ass cheek, say some generic dirty phrase...in out in out...done. Yawn!

I don't know where these guys ever got the impression that this is all they need to give in terms of performance, but it's not acceptable. You guys knock shit around in there, lose your load and think you're Gods. It's not a self challenge to see how hard you can slam into her. It's a two person deal, for fucks sake. And no amount of changing positions makes up for it...it just prolongs the boredom. Ditto for needing to have sex in every possible location like you're marking your spot. The sex WOULD BE INTERESTING enough if you just did it right. All you're doing by bugging women to have sex in the car, on the dresser, in the woods, is putting them in places where they're going to pull a muscle or get dirt on their ass cheeks while you bore them to sleep. Woohoo.

And WHY do you have to be SO predictable? There's nothing more boring than making out with a guy, getting turned on, and then being bored to death by the same ol', same ol' routine that I swear to God, you guys found in some book somewhere that every single one of you read in high school and have sworn by ever since. Kiss, and for WAY too short a time, by the way...grab the ass...grab a boob...squeeze it and massage it in a way that isn't a turn on for anyone but you because it's awkward and fumbly and doesn't leave even a trace of someone who is trying to pleasure the woman attached to the boob he's working on...get a boob out...suck on it while squeezing the ass...blah. Get the pants off...fingers, clit, blah...do the whole digital penetration thing all wrong - usually too rough...get to the oral...get to the sex...in out in out, we covered that already. Snore.

What is with people????? It's not that I have a problem teaching and communicating, but it'd be nice for people to at least come through the door with a clue or two in their pocket. Shit.

Get with it already. Be unpredictable. Get out of your rhythm...it's old and been done by everybody too many times. Surprise somebody! Figure out how to be interesting without getting into every position you've ever seen in all your pornos, every single time you have sex because you know what happens when you do all those positions every time? They get boring. Predictable. Do something else! Here's some help: women have thighs, areas behind the knees, shoulders, backs, toes, tops of the feet, forearms, hips, wrists, ankles, outer sides of the breasts, hair, butt cheeks that are good for more than smacking. There's a backside to that neck and it's a lot more sensitive than the right and left sides.

There are good things to be had in all of these places. Figure them out. There is more than one speed...learn it. Change it up! If you're going to run around acting like your penises make you something worthy of the egos you carry around, then for crying out loud, at least earn your reputation properly. Until then, quit crying about how you want slutty women who know what they're doing in bed who can please YOU. Women (especially slutty ones) are bored with you because mostly, you're all the same.

I'm sure there are some middle-aged and older men in here who know what I'm talking about. There will also be some who don't because some people just never figure it out.

post id: 256855475