favorite this postGold 1981 Honda Civic 1300hide this posting
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Welcome to the best days of your life, for you are about to be the hottest car having person on the blizzle izzle ock.
Her name is Goldie Honda, let me introduce you two.
Goldie gets her name by being plated in atomic number 79. Her feet are also plated in the same element, giving her a sexier look than Ryan Gosling's chiseled fucking face.
She is driven by lust, lure and a rather ergonomically designed, yet large gold skull shifter knob. Under the hood, she rumbles four (4) of her seductively tuned gears at a mighty fitty-six (56) horsepower reaching record-smearing speeds of eightyish (85) miles an hour. Her trunk also opens so wide that you can fit a full sized bike inside of her for when you're feeling like putting your bike into something and driving it around.
Oh. wait. there's more. Do I hear you like to 'roll' down your windows and blast NWA in five points while you hurtle down Larimer with a fresh single origin Ethiopia pour over from Crema in your free hand?
Well, with this sexhicular automobabe, you can. Over the phat stereo via bluetooth from Spotify™ for iPhone™, because Goldie's so fucking fresh like that.
Garaged for the majority of her life, she ain't seen much pavement for her age either. This sweet, sweet milf of a vehicle has only been ridden 94,217 miles by three grown men (at separate times).
One of those men is Jewish with the word Gold in his last name. You better fucking believe it.
As of last summer this hot babe received new brakes, new ball joints, new struts, new exhaust (well, freshly and professionally repaired) and I just changed her lube a few days ago.
If you want to get inside of her, contact me up about it, and please save any awkward photos of your body parts for later, thank you.
Oh- and also included in the sale is a jar of tears that I produced while making this ad. I'm so sad to see her go. Photo of me crying attached.