I caught your eye while you were walking somewhere and I was walking somewhere else. Or possibly we were both sitting. Or maybe one of us was walking. Or you might have actually have been driving.
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Anyway, the chemistry between us -- wow. The path from your eyes to mine was like a sunbeam of sex, a moonbeam of michief and mirth and musty, lusty September loving. Or August loving maybe. This might have been last Christmas. Anyway, whatever.
You were a svelte brunette with indie-rock glasses playing harpichord, or a bootylicious blonde in black hotpants volunteering at the homeless shelter. Or you might have been a sassy redhead college coed smoking a doobie. Or somewhere in between. Anyway, you were hot. Or cute. Or you had kind of your own style going, and it was sexy. Or you were mostly covered up and I couldn't totally tell. Or you were dancing on a table and I was dropping singles like they was jacks on the pavement.
Anyway, we saw each other in Denver (it might have been Miami) and it was a thing of beauty, except for its brevity. But I felt something special, something special where it counts. I wish I had talked to you. I bet you wish you had talked to me. I bet it keeps you up at night. I bet you'd die for a second chance. I bet twenty-five dollars on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
If you want a second chance to blow this opportunity to try your luck at loving, please contact me via email. Or just meet me next weekend at Coors Field. Or Mile High. I'll be the one wearing a shirt.
I think we can make this into something. It could be love. Or it could just be a really awesome roll in the hay, and then an awkward run-in three weeks later at the hardware store. Or maybe we'll become worst of enemies, and you'll key my car once with your friends when you're drunk. Or maybe it could be five or six awesome rolls in the hay. Or maybe we can just be friends, and I can boff your sister. Or maybe it could be eight or nine awesome rolls in the hay. The possibilities are literally without limit!!!
If you know what I'm talking about, and I think you do, or possibly you don't, please, please, please send me an email. You know you won't regret it. Probably.