I can wake-up, shower and leave the house in 30 minutes flat. And I still look cute and kissable.
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Even if we do get married eventually I would never dream of making you throw out your favorite sofa even if it did live in a frat house for five years.
When you go out with the guys and come home all sloppy and fall asleep during sex Ill only tease you about it for, oh, say a couple of days and never in front of your friends.
I never gunk up my hair with sticky crap.
I dont watch sports but I dont give a rats ass if you do. Ill NEVER give you shit for spending a day in front of the tube with the guys, hell, Ill even make you nachos.
I dont like shopping. I hate shopping. I hate the mall and all it stands for. That said, I do have clothes for pretty much any occasion.
Ill never be pissed off if you spend the day hiking instead of going to my familys 4th of July gathering. Ill probably join you.
I am SOOOO not high maintenance
I love sex. Im not going to send you a link to a pay site but Im not going to jump in the sack with you because you have a penis. Still, please have a penis. Dont email a photo. Ill take your word for it.
I seriously dont care if youre a Aquarius or a Libra. Really.
I have an amazing cabin in the mountains.
I eat steak. But not so much that Im chubby.
Im not bitter, I dont think all men are playing games, just looking for sex, or shallow if they dont find me attractive.
I have really funny stories about the bad dates Ive been on this year. Seriously, youll be laughing till it hurts. (conspiracy theory guy . . . sorry if this upsets you but it WAS funny)
I dont expect that if we dont hit it off well keep in touch. We might, but dont count on it. I wont either.
I think Angel Therapy, Energy "tuning", Therapeutic Touch, Astrology, Cellular Memory, Creationism, Feng Shui and the face on Mars are all a huge pile of crap. If you believe in any of this and decide to contact me I WILL laugh at you. To your face.
If you say something cheesy and romantic Im more likely to crack-up than tear-up.
If you can make me laugh I cant wait to meet you!
- this is in or around Wash Park
- yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests