Originally Posted: 2005-04-27 18:21 (no longer live)

Rant: Don't marry my Ex-Wife

Warning: Do not marry my ex-wife.

I know, I know - she's hot, has beautiful eyes and a great ass... and those tits, yeah, they're fake. Thank God I refused to buy them when we were married (all I could think of was some random dude playing with my $7,000). Plus, I really do like small tits. There's something innocent, sweet and honest about those natural A/B cups. I told her that 3,000 times. Remember, when you finally get to second base, those fun saline bags are surgically inserted into one wacked-out psycho. Two marriage counselors fired us because they couldn't handle her. Little Miss Cinderella.

She left because she wasn't "happy" - WTF? You're not "happy" because you're a friggin' train wreck. A seventh figure in the income and another 3,000 square feet are not going to cure that. Oh, and abandoning your kid is not going to cure that either.

I know. It's awesome when she puts her slender little ankles up around your head - you'll be exploring her best parts. Once it's over, you're going to have to forget about her ankles and deal with her head... and the head is pretty but it "ain't right."

And the head is huge. This girl has an ego to go with that ass. Mix in a little irrationality and a healthy dose of unreasonableness and you end up with my lovely ex-wife. As trustee, she stole tens of thousands of dollars from a trust she was managing. No empathy for others. A real class act. I had no emotion for her for such a long time. No feeling. Now, after some reflection and an accounting of my life with her - - - I decided that I hate that bitch.

So, anyway, I digress... just have fun with her. Date her if you want. She can't survive without a man, so watch out for the claws. Have lots of sex, take her out on dates, show her off to your friends. Just don't marry her! You've been warned.

post id: 70541539