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There are a few things I'd like to thank you for:
Thank you for wanting to have sex with me. You couldn't, but your heart was in the right place.
Thanks for the ego boost. You were really hot and into me... until you passed out.
Thanks for making me realize that I am, indeed, a gentleman and that I truly do respect women. A lesser man would have taken advantage of the situation. I know I am not one of those guys. Once you were out, it really wasn't fun anymore.
Thanks for the drinks from the mini-bar. You were passed out, naked. And I really needed a drink.
Thanks for letting me tuck you into bed. You don't remember, but trust me, it was really cute.
Thanks for not vomiting. Seriously.
Thanks for the fun time at the bar. In retrospect, I should have taken you back to your room much, much sooner.
Thanks for buying shots, all 5 of them. I really enjoyed that.
Thanks for being as drunk as I was. Scratch that, you were drunker.
But most of all, thanks for being from out of town. More than likely, there won't be that awkward moment when we run into each other, and you try to figure out where you know me from.
Cheers to you Passer-Outer! You were fun. I just wish I knew what your name was.
-the guy at the bar