I love men.
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I love them all!
The young, the old, the ugly, the handsome...
I like the way they look, I like the way they smell, and especially the way they feel.
Their fuzzy legs with the bald parts that their socks have rubbed off, their scratchy beards, the always surprisingly smooth, velvety skin on their cute round bottoms.
I like the sounds they make when they are having sex, and the way they look so vulnerable right afterwards.
I like the way they can remember sports statistics from 20 years ago and make it a point of honor to answer the sports trivia questions first.
Thank your for leaving dog eared copies of sports illustrated in the bathroom. And thank you for introducing me to Rick Reilly!
I like the way they look when they are drunk and have to take a wicked pee. Their hands propped up against the wall, chins pointed down with a look of deep concentration mixed with relief....
I like the way they sing off-key when they think no one is around. I don't think the ipod would have been invented in a woman-only world, so thank you for that.
I like the way they get excited about things that I have absolutely no interest in, and insist on calling me in to watch the instant replay.
I like the way they repeat stupid humorous lines from movies, over and over and over again.
I love the young ones for their energy and the memories they have given me. And now that I am in my forties, thank you to that 28-year-old fireman. You are a hottie, but I am way to old for you!
I love the old ones for being so incredibly inappropriate when I was young.
Yes, thank you to my best friends father for asking me to be in his fantasy threesome when I was only 17. I was virgin then, but I was flattered that you counted me your top two….
And thank god for all the many fabulous, lonely available men out there.
Now that I am finally divorced, it’s been great getting to know some of you.