Originally Posted: 2005-01-04 2:58pm

favorite this post Deadbeat Rommates (FREE)

Three deadbeat roommates for the taking.

First roommate is unemployed, antisocial, has poor hygiene, and has a slight body odor issue. Actually he has a major body odor issue, but since he is antisocial you will notice this only on the rare occasions he actually comes out of his room. He will accept any job that doesn't require good hygiene or social skills. Highlights include stinking so bad you'll think there's a dead body in his room, slamming the front door at two in the morning, and passing out naked in the bathroom. He does keep common areas clean, since he is rarely in them.

Second roommate is short, surly, and missing teeth. Missing teeth are not related to the fact that he is short and surly - but future missing teeth may be. He likes to be unemployed in the winters, but this does not significantly impact his financial situation as he also likes to deal drugs. If you like being woken from a sound sleep by a 2 AM phone call to see if you are "holding" this one's for you. Other highlights include late night confrontations with drunken asshole friends, missing food, late rent payments, overcharging for underweight packages, raiding your beer for his friends, and answering the phone half asleep when your parents call at 2 in the afternoon. he keeps his room neat and clean for the comfort of his friends and customers, but will make a mess of the common areas.

Roommate three likes to take long walks on the beach. Unfortunately he likes to do this with an ex-marine's current wife and follow up it up with late night freebasing sessions. He is friendly, and has a lovable toothless grin. Slightly wetbrained from years of excessive drug use, but more considerate than my other two roommates. Tends to ramble endlessly, but only when you are actually in the middle of something. Also likes to clean, but will ramble about the fact that he cleaned.

Roommates can be taken individually or as a set.

post id: 54416094

best of [?]