Well, My Casanova Days Are Back! (Don't be jealous!)
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O.k., I am a modest fellow and really do detest when my buddies brag about their skills with women. Like I have this one friend Ed who is a bartender, law student and fitness nut. He is always going on and on about his success with women. But just this once, it is my turn to crow.
See, I have been working up the courage to talk to this pretty and bespectacled girl I've seen at the bar several times. I'd asked around about her, got her name and where she worked and tried to get her favorite kind of flowers from her friend Melanie but she said "I dunno. I have to go now." Anyway, her name is "Jenn" and she is amazing. Coffee-skinned, perfect smile, nubile young body and very smart. So after weeks of leering at her from afar, your's truly has a shot of vodka and lumbers up to her.
Oh yeah, guess you all know where this story is going!! From the moment we started talking I sensed this almost electric connection in the way she folded her arms, turned away and watched the band with a bored expression. It was magic, friends.
And funny how it'd been so long since I talked to a pretty woman but I did not even lose a step. Like riding a bike, right guys?! Wasting no time I professed my eerie and desperate obsession with her from the get-go. I told her she was the most amazing woman I had ever laid eyes on and that I had been working on a poem for her for weeks. She was further impressed when I smiled coyly and let her know that I had scrawled her name repeatedly into the wall next to my futon-bed.
She kind of made wide eyes at her friends on the other side of the bar. You know how women do that when they are interested. After a couple of minutes of her eating out of my hand like this, I figured it was time to go for the kill. So I ask her to go see a movie with me that very Friday. Well, turns out she "never goes to the movies, but thanks anyway." Well, I wanted her to feel comfortable on our date. So being a sensetive guy, I persisted. "What about dinner?" I asked with a knowing smile. "Uh, no thanks. I don't really eat with people I don't know." At that we both laughed..or I laughed and told her I had an extra ticket to "Blue Man Group" which I had bought weeks earlier with my entire paycheck in anticipation of our big night on the town. Here's where my persistance pays off!
Jenn takes a deep breath, PATS ME ON THE SHOULDER (whoa, slow down, I am supposed to be hunting YOU!) and tells me very clearly "Look, you're nice. But I, ah, have a boyfriend already." Now I did find it funny she was at a single's night at this bar but she quickly mumbled something about just being out for her friends which explained that clearly from my point of view.
Not over yet, folks. Here's a lesson for the younger guys out there not to give up! Before I could tell her how her current boyfriend could never love her as much as I could, she jumped in faintly with "You're a nice guy. Let's just be bar-buddies, ok?" With that, my new "buddy" bounced off to her gaggle of laughing friends. I saw them whispering and hate to sound cocky, but you could tell she was talking about yours truly because she kept pointing over and trying to hide a cheery smile by covering her mouth with her hand.
So I plan to go back to this establishment every night this week so Jenn and I can "buddy-up" if you know what I mean. If I don't see her I can always go to her office and surprise her. She loves surprises, you can just tell. So, keep trying guys, the perfect girl is out there for all of us!