When you said "I love 'YOU'" two years ago, what you really meant to say was that you loved "Anything Hot Enough to Make My Friends Jealous When She Occupies the Space Next to Me, Thus Making Me Feel like a Big Stud and Positioning Me as the Alpha Male so that Other Sexually Viable Women Will Want Me so that I Can Enhance My Chances of Creating a Young Uber-mensch in My Likeness."