You may recall that less than one week ago, it snowed. It snowed a fucking lot. Unfortunately, since then, the sidewalks -- you know, those concrete paths outside stores and residences -- have not been entirely cleared, for whatever reason.
Since I walk to/from school and work, I've had the good fortune of encountering every dumb fuck within a 5 mile radius who doesn't seem to realize that the walkable sidewalk space is now about a third of what it used to be. This means all of us on the sidewalk, including you, have to maneuver our way down a path that is roughly the width of two and half Nutter Butters. Until the former dimensions to which we have accustomed ourselves are restored, could those of you without a clue about sidewalk etiquette please get one and for fuck's sake, give it a try this week. You might just save a life! Yours.
This is what I mean:
1. When you and your walking partner(s) approach another pedestrian coming at you in the opposite direction, DO NOT CONTINUE TO WALK SIDE BY SIDE! One of you MUST, I repeat, MUST follow the other. If there are more than two of you, form a line and continue walking. Casually strolling into the oncoming pedestrian is not an option.
2a. If the path is only wide enough for one person to walk at a time and someone has kindly stepped aside to let you walk by, fucking acknowledge it with a smile or a thank you or something. Do not chalk it up to divine right. (This is especially directed at Pissy Blonde Bitch on Mass. Ave. who, just to let you all know, owns the stretch from 1600 to 1700. Yeah, I had no idea either.)
2b. If the above scenario has just occurred and the pedestrian who stepped aside is now walking toward you, IT'S YOUR FUCKING TURN TO STEP ASIDE AND LET HIM/HER PASS. Don't be such a fucking ingrate. (That's you, Lard Ass Behind Pissy Blonde Bitch on Mass. Ave. But thanks for not rolling into me. Much appreciated.)
Now I'm a nice girl. I normally don't have homicidal tendencies. But I swear I'm going to go buck wild on the next slack-jawed yokel who fails to abide by these obvious-as-hell rules. Fair warning.
(And if you've been following them, thank you. People like you almost make me feel like I'm living in a civilized society!)