for the one or two ladies out there who are unfortunate enough not to be absolutely well-adjusted and self-actualized, and who despair of ever finding anyone here who is not de-issued, non-problematic, endlessly enchanting, and perfect in every way:
QR Code Link to This Post
i am a homely, boring, anal-retentive woman of slightly below average intelligence who hates fun and anything that smacks of merriment. i am generally passive-aggressive but am prone to unpredictable fits of anger and violence - usually verbal, but who knows what can happen if you keep an open mind? i abhor an eclectic range of movies and music, and i find learning new things to be a waste of time. i won't try anything, ever. i also dislike intellectual and philosophical conversations but am no less open to recoiling from a blockbuster night.
i do like some things - telling you i love you in private, then shunning you in public; having sex with you, then pushing you away while cursing my unnatural urges afterward; telling you that i don't want to be with you, then calling you incessantly when you withdraw; sulking when we're with your friends, then telling you that i don't like them and that they're just holding you back; talking for hours with my ex, then telling you that you just don't understand the connection we have, and that she NEEDS me, and why are you so jealous, and hey maybe you're the one with the problem, not me; blaming all my unhappiness on my parents, my job, my cats, my good-for-nothing therapist, and you.
also, please be and do these things for and to me.
i love drama. i want more of it in my life. so all you women who have been discouraged by the appeals for "sane, fun, drama-free" women... listen up. i am the one for you.
Strings are definitely attached.