According to my sources at the NYTimes, a story will be released some time later this week in which CraigsList will be exposed, and it's international parties revealed as enemies of the United States. A reporter for the times accidentally came upon The Craigs List Manifesto and in a candid conversation paraphrased for US officials that enemies of our capitalist regime have organized to "create a fun way for a whole generation of Americans to participate in the downfall of the American economy".
The Manifesto, a 37 page doctrine, details the creation of a Missed Connections category, wrought with homophobia, racism, discussion of Irish peepies, and a fictitious Astro the Flagger - all as a means by which to engage an entire generation of professionals and detain them from doing their work.
"It is believed that hundreds of thousands of office hours are stolen each day by posters, flaggers, and the generally addicted viewers," reported an anonymous official.
The Creation of the Rants and Raves category is detailed in the final chapters of The Manifesto and reports an expectation of a final economic demise that will put the Nixon years to shame.
Officials bringing this to the attention of President Bush were told by our leader, "I told you this economy shit wasn't my fault! Send that Craig some Cuban cigars and one of my interns."