Originally Posted: 2016-01-25 9:11am
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favorite this post WANTED: COMMMITTED CAT LOVERS IN MALHEUR!!! hide this posting unhide

We will seize illegally held land and use it to establish a herd of free range cats from which to harvest wool. Malheur is the purrfect site for cat ranching the way God intended. It has an abundance of natural food, water, and a mild climate. Birds are plentiful. Catnip should thrive. We will develop a new breed: the Harney County ranch cat. We need hardy breeding stock such as Maine Coon, Manx, 'merican Bobtail, and Persian (natural born only). No hairless cats unless neutered/spayed. A few lions would be useful for defensive purposes. We don't expect them to breed with ranch stock. Artificial insemination might work but who wants to try that with a male lion? Our ranch will create sustainable community jobs and a quality organic product for the domestic market. We will have a low carbon footprint because felines produce little flatulence.

Previous cat ranching experience is desired, but not required. We need carpentry skills so we can build a large wheeled cat in which to hide for gaining access to Malheur. Your rank will depend upon experience, leadership, commitment to the movement, and willingness to scoop. SERIOUS CAT RANCHERS ONLY!!! No fanatics such as cat hoarders, ASPCA members, cat Trumpers, or those who participate in cat shows. You will need to provide your own brush, shears, and lasso. Spinning wheels are needed. To deter rustlers we have already procured branding irons with the community insignia.

JOIN THE MILITIA TO TAKE BACK ILLEGALLY HELD FEDERAL LAND!!! JOIN US TO ENGAGE IN THE KIND OF LIVESTOCK REARING ENVISIONED BY OUR FOUNDING FATHERS: CAT HERDING. We will secure and ranch our land as an unarmed militia. Armed militias are not the only ones who can occupy federal land. We are tax paying citizens who uphold the constitution, at least the good parts of it. We believe in the constitutionally guaranteed right to bear claws. ALL SUPPORTING PATRIOTS ARE GUARANTEED NINE LIVES!!! This will equalize the odds even though we may be low in numbers. SEKHMET WILL PROTECT US!!! THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND!!! THIS LAND IS OUR LAND!!! THIS LAND WAS MADE FOR YOU AND ME!!!

-General Pat On
-Colonel Pawter
-Major Tom Cat
-Private Pussy

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