Yes, it's true, I've never seen "Star Wars." I was 14 years old when the original came out (you do the math) and somehow I never managed to see it, or any of the sequels.
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It's time. I'm ready to hand in my Star Wars V-card.
I know this might seem like pretty hot stuff to some of you, introducing a Star Wars virgin to the film that shaped you into the person that you are, developed your sense of virtue and cultivated your concepts of right and wrong. Imagine how hot will it be to sit next to me as I experience -- for the first time! -- the foundation upon which you've not only built your entire personality, but with which you've cultivated the purpose of your heart and the direction of your soul. It will be no less than miraculous, I'm sure. A spiritual epiphany.
This is a one-time offer. I mean, once it's busted, there's no getting my Star Wars cherry back, ya know? So I want it to be good. I want my first time to be memorable. Special. I want the build-up, the excitement, the breathless anticipation, all of it. I want you to tease me with your superior Star Wars wisdom until I'm begging you to please please PLEASE put it in, put it in!! Put the DVD in the player and start the movie! I want you to hold my hand as I submit for the first time to the marvel and wonder of this grand event. I might even be okay with some costumes and role playing before the movie starts, but I'd have to be really comfortable with you. Size matters (no matter what they tell you), so obscenely large screens to the front of the line, and surround sound is a must.
So how about it? Do you think you are the one to cure me of my Star Wars purity? Tell me why.
**Please note this is NOT an offer or request for any sort of sexual activity but I probably won't want to see you again, which is why I consider this a casual encounter.**
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests