Originally Posted: 2005-09-05 12:09pm

Going on record

After many sleepless days and nights watching television and reading craigslist and waiting by the phone I want my voice to be heard!

I've personally lost family members, friends and a house on the Gulf Coast. The pictures in the media haunt me personally as I am sure they haunt all of you globally. I cry tears for my family but I shed more tears for a nation torn by hate. It hurts me as an American to have the reality so blatantly put in my face that after several hundred years I have not found a home in this country and I am merely tolerated.

Alot of you have not the slightest idea of the demographics or life in the South. It is at the very least more true to the real feelings of my so called friends and neighbors. At least down there a flag was hung proudly so I knew exactly where I was not needed, wanted, welcomed, or invited. I don't mind your comments or your preferences because no matter who your ancestors were this great country of ours was founded on one thing and that thing was FREEDOM!

This country has so called "freed" us in the physical sense but everyday as a minority this country enslaves us mentally and whatever that isn't taken mentally from us is left on the other side of a closed, more like slammed door of any upward progress.

Major corporations refuse to market to us unless it is something that will kill us. The dream of America is sold to us only in shiny things that hold no value. The media has warped and shaped the minds of us all.

Before you start your rant please continue to read on. I agree with some of your posts. Yes, as a people SOME African Americans have notoriously and historically been unable to successfully rally together. The acceptance of that fact saddens me deeper than anyone can begin to know. Our "dreams" die everyday in the reflection of some 24" rims on a shiny Cadillac Escalade or some other trinket or insignificant sign of wealth. Yes, as a people SOME African Americans rise to the "top" and then throw the ladder down and leave no life line. That's for you Rice, Powell, Jackson, and many others. Yes, as a people SOME African Americans have been known to sit idly by wringing their hands waiting for a handout. Yes this is hard to swallow and say.

Our vision and hope has been put to rest by a few dollars and a crappy housing community. The generation gap has divided people and this disaster is proof of that. We have changed from the pride of our people and have given way to the European ways and cultures. The same ones that enslaved us. We covet their homes and money and try to emulate their power by purchasing those things that we covet. Yet we lack the insight and education to hold on to those things. We've wavered from the spiritual aspects that once held our community together and became the biggest sponsors of it's not my problem so I will look away. Knowledge is power and if you want to make a nation quiver then arm yourself with that knowledge. Wanting more than your parents is nothing more than that...wanting more! I DON'T want to be white..what is that anyway? Do you not remember why your own family members marched on this very city? EQUALITY!!! Not seperate but equal but just plain EQUAL!! Yes SOME of you self righteous majority are like what more do we have to give. Give being the keyword here...don't give me anything! I abhor your charity. You GAVE "us" a new school in Capitol Heights but that building is all you gave. In another neighborhood you wouldn't think to have your children to play russian roulette just to get across the street to get to class. No you would have provided more than just an empty "shiny" new building. You would have staffed it with capable teachers. You would have already appointed a superintendent. You would have had police men and several crossing guards. You want to give me something then give me a CHANCE!! I can use my other GOD given talents to do the rest. If I fall below my mark then that is on ME do not make my mistakes or sucesses the benchmark of your dealings with each and every African American. I do want an education that is worth the piece of paper that is given to me when I graduate. I do want a house that is fit to live in. I do want a safe neighborhood. I do want a car that isn't purchased at a buy here/pay now place. African Americans are born with more tolerance for different cultures. Our daily existence and survival is dependent upon that tolerance. Our damnation has been that tolerance as well. I myself don't mind tolerance when it is tempered with reality. I have to go to my job and be your version of what you think I should be all the while maintaining my own identity. I am proud of my personal achievements and I do my best to reach anyone that would like to take a similar path...regardless of your ethnic background. When I look at you I don't say oh that's bob he hates all minorities...no I say man bob just doesnt like ME and for whatever reason I have to accept that. When bob does like me I say hey bob has gotten to know ME as a person and I am thankful for that..I don't say bob must like minorities.

Back on point, I am hurt by the lack of respect for ANY human life but it especially hurts to know that somewhere in that murky water lies my friends and worse yet some of my biological family. Words can not describe the pain that ensues as I read another racist post from people that think that they are better than anyone else or that they are exempt from personal tragedy. Remember that you reap what you sow. I never believed it either but I've learned better over the years.

Just Friday this area was in mass histeria at the closing of some gas stations. People missed appointments, ended labor day celebrations, ran people over, got in fist fights over GAS. YET and still you same people get on here and spew such horrible things about how you would have acted better. I find that hard to believe! I DID NOT say that it was right or wrong what has happened but I am just stating that each and everyone of us are capable of the same things.

My people, God's people I understand your frustration and your pain but now is not the time to assess blame and to fight. I urge you to be strong and to congregate as I know that you can. I am praying for you and I am praying for this nation. Let us turn some of this negative energy into positive energy. I understand that you have lost your homes and your family members. I am here with you. Let my words reach you as no president or other person can. I am calling on all of our people not just celebrities and want to be advocates. Each of us large and small can make a difference. Not just today but everyday. This nation needs to be healed. I will not believe that this is place is so cold. I cried for the victims of 9/11 and helped their cause. I cried for the victims of the Tsunami and helped their cause. Will you not cry for me? Will you not help my cause?

Yesterday a lady came into my office. She was irritated about her appointment. Something had been messed up at another office. I was trying to assure her that I would set her wrong and make it right...not tomorrow or next week but today. She couldn't get comforted and I thought that she was afraid of having this procedure done. She told me that she was not worried about this test and that it was the least of her worries. She told me that she is so upset at the state of the nation and our so called leaders. She told me that wished she could give the president the bullet herself. She told me she wishes she could do something for the people down south. I asked her if she had family there and I told her that I lost some family and I lost a house. She stated that she has no personal ties to the Gulf Coast and doesnt even know anyone who has been there. She was just so upset that nothing was being done for our fellow AMERICANS. She cried. I told her I can't right this but I can do something for you so I hugged her like I would comfort my own child. I felt her emotional strain of the last few days release into my arms. This woman is caucasian and is 65 years old. I'm African American and I am 32. She cried and I cried. I want to thank her again for letting me share a moment with her. She said she would never forget it. She left my office with a smile and feeling some what better. AMERICA I wish I could give that hug to you. Because despite all of our faults and differences everything that was right or wrong didn't matter in that moment. We will always be different and we will always not completely understand what moves and motivates us but we also whether you like it or not we will always be AMERICANS just like you!!

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