Rant: Wet ass from the automatic flusher...
I'm ready to kill a good 15 minutes or so, so I go to CL and print out a few of the "Best of's" for my reading pleasure. Well... to my dismay, four minutes into my dump, the son of a bitch flushes.
This isn't any normal flush, this is the type of flush that is used to eradicate the most Hiroshimatic shits of all time. As I'm nearly sucked down the bowels of downtown DC, my ass and balls get soaked as there is water flying out from between my legs.
I have no where to run to and there's not much I can do other than take my ass on a white water rafting trip of the 3rd floor stall.
So after riding the rapids of the shitter, I'm completely furious and not even completely done dumping. I drop off one more terd, wipe my ass, then start balling up huge wads of toilet paper to start drying my ass from the trip it just went on.
I finally finish drying up my balls and ass and stand up to leave the bathroom and sure enough the lone terd is still sitting at the bottom of the toilet unable to be flushed.
Once again my office has failed in even being able to flush shit down the toilet.