Keep your Big Smokey away from me
Okay, I thought I would solicit the help of the CL community on this one.
I have lived in Foggy Bottom for about 4 years now. We have our one 7-11 that is actually open from 7am-11pm. I visit this 7-11 quite often. Often enough that the guys there know what I do where I live and what I buy.
Here is my problem.
About 6 months ago I wander in hung over, ready to eat anything I can get my hands on. I stumble around… grab chips… stumble… coke…and gaze to the hot dog roller machine thing.
I am telling you, I was hungry enough to eat a 7-11 hot dog. Here is how the conversation went.
“Hey champ, how you doing?” Cashier
“Can I have a hot dog?” hung-over me
“You want the big smokey?” Cashier
“Sure whatever” hung-over me
“ahhh you like it big and spicy!” Cashier
At that moment I did not realize what this would start. This small transaction caused this particular cashier to ask me every time I went back “You want a Big Smokey? Cause you like it spicy!” This has continued to this day.
Now I know it is a small thing. But you try going into a place that tries to push “big smokies” on you every time you want a coffee.
I have put up with the cashiers pausing to eye hump every blonde white girl that darkens the doorway when they were supposed to be counting my change. I dealt with the unfortunate months when they called me “David” which is no where near my name. I delt with the times I asked if there was any more Pepsi in the back and they told me caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper was the “Same ting”.
I do have to draw the line when you start telling the next person in line or someone who comes to the store with me that “He likes it spicy, he wants a Big Smokey”.
So I turn to you my CL friends. I am planning a “Big Smokey” intervention in an effort to stop his tireless pushing of his Big Smokey on me.
I have enlisted the help of three friends so far. Here is what they are doing for me. Every time they go to this 7-11 they grab whatever they came for. They then stand in line patiently. When they are at the register they inquire about their “Big Smokies”. Then after asking questions do not buy one. Do not hold up the line, just ask and then go.
Here are some possible options:
“Can you show me your Big Smokey?”
“How big is your Big Smokey?”
“I like the Big Smokies, they’re really big.”
“I have a Big Smokey at home.”
“That Big Smokey looks old, is it stiff?”
And so on and so on….
Please feel free to be creative. I am hoping that in a week or so he will be so tired of talking about “big smokies” that he will stop asking me and others like me if we “Like it big and spicy” or that “My Big Smokey is ready just for you champ!” and just go back to eye humping white girls and calling me David.