Originally Posted: 2005-05-22 2:30pm
Gone Pending Pickup: Five Evil Silver Dollar Fish
People want my Evil Silver Dollars! Men envy them! Women want them as pets! So they are gone, Baby, gone!
Fish #1: About 1 ½” from face area to back of fish area. Narrow from side to side. Silver color. Scaly. Two eyes. Breathes fresh water.
Fish #s 2-5: See Fish #1.
Flighty. They prefer to hang out together as each one suffers from a deep separation anxiety and has identity issues. They won’t like you. Not at first anyway. Then one day it will dawn on them that the blurry thing by the tank brings them food, and they will like you. But they will only like you in a platonic way.
Food. Anything remotely plant-like that may be in your tank. Dark places to hide. Thai food. Synchronized swimming.
Sharks. Fin nipping Bettas. The threat of being flushed down the toilet. Rainy days. High ammonia levels.
Why They Are Evil:
They are eating my tank plants and harassing the frogs. They stare at me when I’m trying to watch TV.
Please don’t name them. Naming fish makes them die.
If you would like to see examples of their species, follow the link below. But remember, just as all women can’t have perfect Angelina Jolie bodies, not all fish have perfect fins. Please don’t hold their imperfections against them. They just want to be loved.
Email me for a pickup time. Today (Sunday, May 22) is fine…or after 8:00 PM the rest of the week…or next weekend.