I have several questions that were prompted by the sight of your rather large penis sticking out of your rather short shorts on the metro last night. I will pose them below in the form of a questionaire, if you will, and you are invited to respond at your leisure.
1. Did you know that your penis was sticking out of your shorts? You were sitting there so calmly as if nothing was amiss, yet you had a newspaper positioned on your lap very strategically so that my roommate and I had a very clear view of your entire package. If it was purposeful, we appreciate your generosity, but what about the rest of the metro patrons? Why deny them?
2. How did you achieve that high sheen on the head of your penis? My roommate and I have consulted friends and have arrived at several different theories, one of which is Windex. I'm not sure if that theory holds water in the real world, so please enlighten us.
3. You have a rather large penis. How's that work out for you?
4. Given the size of your penis, did you realize that those short shorts may have been a problematic purchase? I would advise you to buy a size larger next time.
5. Did our excessive giggling, whispering, and glances in your direction bother you? We apologize for our rudeness, but you must understand that it's not everyday that one sees a penis on the metro. My roommate has lived here for 6 years and it's her first one!
Thank you in advance for addressing all of our questions. I am very much looking forward to reading your responses.