Craig: I’ve tried your “list” before to varying results; I’m giving you one last chance, but this time I think I can beat your system.
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In the past, I said I liked guys who are into indie and indie pop music; you sent me boys who only know bands on clear channel stations. I thought that my placing an ad in the W4M made it obvious that I was interested in single men. Considering that 80% who replied were married, I can only assume I didn’t make it obvious enough. Touché, Craig. Touché. I indicated that I prefer scruffy tattooed guys, and that the polo collar erection crowd does nothing for me, and who do you bring me Craig? You bring me Georgetown lawyers who only talk about real estate and cars. I hope you are ashamed of yourself.
I said that I am liberal and prefer someone else who is progressive; you sent me a man who works for the Christian Coalition, and another from the Family Research Council. The Family Research Council, Craig!!! With that you met and exceeded my already low expectations. I also mentioned I prefer guys a few years older than me (preferably late 20’s early 30’s); seeing as the mean age of respondents was 21, I was apparently too subtle for you Craig. Finally, I mentioned that I’m a pretty independent, low-key gal. I can get wild with the best of ‘em, but thankfully, my days of keg stands and passing out are, for the most part, behind me. Apparently you thought I would be a great match for twenty-something guys trying to recapture their frat boy youth through kickball and flip cup tournaments. One of whom was charming enough to mention that he thought it was déclassé of me (seriously! the word déclassé was used in our conversation) to ride a bus, because where he comes from, only poor people rode the bus. As if the statement itself wasn’t bad enough, it was delivered with such disgust that he must have thought poverty was a communicable disease.
Craig: it has become obvious to me that you believe that extreme opposites attract. I see your game, and I raise you. Craig: please find me a short, bald, uninteresting man with no sense of humor and a small penis who loves Dave Mathews and hanging out in Georgetown.