Marry me so I can get a dog
This is where you come in. We will live together but you must be able to leave work by 3 or 4 so our dog will not have crapped on the carpet. And you solely will be in charge of training him until you can get him to roll over and shake hands and cool stuff like that. We can raise this dog either in my apartment or yours, although I must warn you I have two roommates and my place might get a little tight on space with a wife and a dog in the picture. But thats up to you.
I make ok money, and will be able to pay for the dog and its food, shots, etc. All I will need from you is to be home early to walk him and maybe sex with me a few times a week. I've been told I'm pretty good in the sack anyway, so you will be one very lucky lady. (Anal is also a big plus.)
Please email me with a picture of yourself, what kind of dog you would be interested in buying with me, and what kind of wedding ceremony you are looking for. I don't have much immediate family, so I would rather have something small, but if your parents are rich and want to throw something big, go nuts, it's their money.
Hit me up if you would like to know anything else about me, and I'm so excited to begin our lives together, just us and our dog. I will be patiently waiting.