Originally Posted: 2005-01-17 11:09am
RE: WHY WON'T HE TOUCH ME? - 33
The OP asked a question; I have provided a handy translation to help her understand what she's really saying:
Guys? Explain please?
8 month relationship...very intense...big time love on each side...*incredible* sex...
Translation: Guys, I'm a little hottie. Sex with me is *incredible*! (Simper!) Just so you know. (Giggle!)
We had a bad time..things got hard. We broke up.
Translation: Shit happened. I'm not going to bother explaining how, let alone analyzing why, just like I didn't bother to work on the relationship after the initial lust wore off. Things just got "hard" and, you know, I'm too precious for that shit, so I got out. If things aren't handed to me on a silver platter, well what am I supposed to do? Get my hands dirty? I don't think so!
Been three weeks and I finally stop by his house to see him tonight.
Translation: I dropped by unannounced to see if my presence could still make his guts churn over any feelings he still has for me. Knowing I can still make him squirm make me feel powerful.
He seems happy to see me. I am happy to see him. A little later, he says he is tired and is going to bed. Cool. I ask him if he minds if I stay over. He says no. I am lying next to him in bed. Rubbing his shoulder. No response.
It's clear that if he wants to make love with me, he probably could.
Translation: I won't actually level with him or explain what I'm doing back in his bed, but I'll let him assume it's because I might still have genuine feelings for him. Or we can both pretend to be "confused" so as to quench our horniness. But it's all got to be unspoken, so that tomorrow I can "honestly" explain that I didn't promise him anything, and it's so very unfair to me that he read into my rubbing against him -- and if he presses the point, I'll tell him he was taking advantage of my vulnerability! I love it when I can make him feel guilty for doing what I wanted him to do in the first place!
Not that I am wanting that, but the fact that HE doesn't, especially when it is AWESOME between us and it's been 3 weeks makes me feel *totally* undesireable and think I should probably leave. He says "ok."
Translation: See, I told you, just because I'm rubbing against you, as long as I don't say I want sex, I have what politicians call "plausible deniability". What I really want is the ego-boost of knowing he wants me. I want to know I can still manipulate him with my fine ass. It's so fucking unfair he won't let me manipulate him like he did when we were together. How dare he not find me irresistible -- how dare he isn't crawling for another taste of my luscious lips! Bastard!
I go to give him a kiss goodbye and HE TURNS HIS HEAD. Says "Not really a good idea."
Translation: I'll up the ante. He won't be able to resist after I get him in a lip-lock. Damn him for being so sensible! (But remember, I don't really want sex. I just want to make him tell me he wants sex. As soon as I get that validation, I can get out of here and have the further satisfaction of knowing he's sitting around with blue balls!
I get it. We broke up.
Translation:I mean, I dumped him because I didn't want to be there for him when he needed or wanted me. It just wasn't, you know, convenient, to have to consider another person's wants and needs, much less to actually give a crap about someone else. I mean, other people just aren't as, you know, real as me. Their feelings aren't as complex as mine. They exist for me, you know? But damn it, just because I kicked his ass to the curb, that doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to fuck him, or fuck with his head, on my schedule, whenever I want it.
But how and why can he not want to be with me? Why won't he touch me? Won't even really look at me directly.
Translation: I'm supposed to be irresistible, damn it! Daddy always told me I was the prettiest! Get with the program! Don't you know I'm perfect?! Answer me, swine!
I don't want to get back with him, but geez, I still love him and love touching him...if HE wanted to make love with ME, I would welcome that.
Translation: Ok, now I am horny. Why the fuck won't that jerk give me some dick? Bastard!
Not as a permanent thing...right? Just "in the moment". There's sometimes sex w/ the ex, isnt there?
Translation: Sex won't change my mind about ending the relationship, and it'll leave him even more confused, with any work he's done to get over me wiped away, but damn it, I want what I want when I want it and I don't give a crap what it costs him. Why is he being so unfair to me??
But he doesn't want anything to do with me that way. If you truly love someone, isn't that an overwhelming feeling when you ARE together? IN BED?
Translation: See, the bastard never loved me anyway. I was right to dump him! And he just doesn't appreciate that I'm supposed to be irresistible, damn it!
He says he wants to be "friends". I can't be his friend. I feel waaay too much.
Translation: Of course I loved him so much that it would be too (sigh!) painful for such a sensitive girl as me to put up with him when I'm no longer pussy whipping him. I feel too much -- unlike all those little people who get in my way and annoy me when they don't do what I want. when I want it! My needs! My needs, damn it!
It hurts to look at him. It hurts even more that he has somehow flipped a switch sexually. Why??? How can he just NOT WANT ME just because we broke up? I am a very good looking girl.
Translation: doesn't he understand that his purpose in life is to validate my ego? How can a mere man not want me? Moi! C'est la roi! I'm the queen of the world! How can anyone not find me irresistible! Mommy! It's just not fair! The world is supposed to revolve around ME!
Probably a really stupid question.
Translation: I'm so self-absorbed that I not only do I not get it, I need to look for sympathy on craigslist! And rather than post in "Rants and Raves", I'll post in "Women looking for Men", 'cause fuck, I am fucking horny and more important, I need some man to worship my ass and re-inflate my ego after last night! My needs!
this is in or around because you're a selfish idiot