best of craigslist > washington, DC > To the guy who tried to mug me last night
Originally Posted: 2004-12-13 4:27pm

To the guy who tried to mug me last night

To the guy who tried to mug me last night while I was on the phone with my parents walking down Connecticut, you are a fucking idiot.

First you rushed up to me and pushed me against a wall, that was smart the whole element of surprise thing. Too bad i out weighed you by 40 lbs and I’m 5 inches taller.

You then proceeded to threaten my life while my dad questioned your intentions on the phone. I thought you would leave me alone when I all but threw you to the ground, much to the chagrin of my father who was completely perplexed by the happenings on the other end of the phone.

You then politely picked yourself up and again stated your intent to kill me. I asked, what I thought was an appropriate question, "do you have a gun or a knife?" You responded with I’m fucked up and I’m going to kill you if you don't give me your mf'n money." My father calmly responded with, "are you safe? What is going on?" I responded with, "I don't have any mf'n money and get the fuck away." my father then with the diligence of a true Christian reprimanded me for saying mf'n and then asked if i was ok.

After that you continued to walk side by side with me down the street for a block with a peculiar stoned look on your face. You the pulled out some Benson and Hedges and told me to give you a light or you were going to castrate me.

By this time I had moved on in the conversation with my father to the topic of who is going to pick me up at the airport when i go home for Christmas. I replied to you with, "are you going to follow me home or am i going to have to kick your ass?" My father, who must have thought you had left, was stunned at the thought of his ass being kicked by his oldest son replied in the most surely of tone, "excuse me what did you say to me."

After that you walked away muttering to yourself how you were going to kill me and everybody else. I hope that goes well for you and i hope you got that light you were looking for.



post id: 52220351

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