Originally Posted: 2004-09-11 10:34am

fucking dc police

look, ok, i live here. i pay taxes here. i don't puke and pass out in the street, and i don't have a car (who needs one?)

so when, at 2am, you fucking police "catch me in the act" of writing "ticket me" in the dirty window of an SUV with PA plates parked in the middle of a crosswalk, i'm not looking for a hassle. hey, how about just ticketing the fucker?

naw, too simple. for you are an unmarked car with four, count them, four testosterone-driven male officers of the law. and apparently, though this out of town SUV made it impossible for me to turn onto my street because i couldn't see around it, i'm somehow "violating property rights."


excuse me for this observation, but it's 2 am in adams morgan. you all have your bullet proof vests on (gosh i hope they're puke proof too) and i would guess you have something better to do. guess i was wrong.

Is that bike registered?
Of course.
Can I see the registration?
(me picking up bike and flipping it over)Yes, it's right here.
Put that thing down.
Do you have a problem?
Yes. You were harming that property.
Sir, do you notice that that property is breaking the law, from out of town, and ugly as hell to boot?
Ma'am, our job is to protect life and property.
Ah, good to see that life still comes first. Because I couldn't see to make a right turn around this illegally parked behemoth, thus it was endangering my life.
But you were still violating the property.
By writing in the dirt of its windows? It wouldn't have been possible had they actually washed their car. Maybe not washing the car was the property violation.
(blank stare)
So, you going to ticket this thing, or what?
Ma'am, we're dealing with your violation right now. (at this point, the other three officers are out of their car.)
Sir, do you live in DC?
So then you agree that property from out of town that is clearly violating our laws and endangering safety aught to be dealt with harshly?
(blank stare) I'm actually from Philly.
Well, how about going and getting those bad guys and letting me do my thing?
What if the owner of this vehicle showed up? What if he picked a fight with you?
Well, for one, I'm wearing a helmet. (grin) And I'm on a bike, so it's pretty hard to catch up with me.
Well, we're trying to avoid fights.
I can tell, you're about four blocks from the nearest bar fight right now.
(blank stare)
OK, I'm going away now. You all have a nice night. Good luck catching those bad guys.

Can't imagine what it would look like if they had to write a report on that one.

this is in or around adams morgan

post id: 42121112

email to friend

best of [?]