best of craigslist > washington, DC > If You Were A Dinosaur, You're Name Would Be Fagasaurus Rex
Originally Posted: 2004-05-25 2:47pm
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If You Were A Dinosaur, You're Name Would Be Fagasaurus Rex

If you clicked on this post expecting to read about homosexual dinosaurs, then you'll probably be dissappointed.

I went to the movies last night expecting to see a movie in relative peace and quiet. I was sadly dissappointed also.

I had barely sat down with my Coke when a flock (Gaggle, herd, whatever) of elderly people came in. Normally, one wouldn't expect much trouble from such a group, but this was different. This group couldn't decide where to sit. Not only that, but they shared the whole discussion with the theater in that really loud whisper that people try to do. Why do people do that anyway? Everyone around can hear anyway, you might as well speak in a normal tone.

"Where should we sit?"

"How about up there?"

"No, I can't make it up there with my hip replacement"

"Down there?"

"No, my neck is too stiff"

"Well, I have to sit close to the door because my bladder has the capacity of one of those new mini coke cans"

"You mean the 8 ounce ones?"

"Yes"

"Then why didn't you just say 8 ounces?"

"What I said sounded better"

"Did you bring the Preparation H this time?"

"Yes Myra."

"Eldridge?"

"Yes love?"

"You shit your pants again, didn't you?"

"Yes Myra."

"God damnit."

Have you ever heard a thorough philosophical discussion expounding on the vices and virtues of where to sit in a movie theater? I hadn't either, before last week.

I guess every decision becomes important when you're ol