Mad Lib - 11am roundup:
Topics lately have included: fat women/condoleezza/masturbation/Iraq/haiku/3 pm conspiracy theories.
If you are not personally satisfied with a particular post, please flag it/complain/write Craig/post on the boards/whine like a child. If you like the 3pm roundup, you are gay/annoying/sooo 3pm/a troll/george bush.
Here at WDC craig's, if you are female and 5'2/5'3/5'4/5'5/5'6, weigh 140-200+ pounds/have fat rolls/avoid putting your photo online, you are considered fat/obese/large/a porker/hefty/undateable/stupid.
If you are female, you probably masturbate daily/weekly/at work/at your desk and use your finger/your NSA's finger/a vibrator/a doner kebob.
If you are male, this idea probably turns you on/turns you on/turns you on/turns you on.
If you have a roommate, you have probably caught them masturbating on the couch/on the kitchen table/on the porch which has probably caused you to want to: join in/watch again/believe she wants to fuck you/shave your ass hair with a norelco.
If you have been to WDC/Baltimore/New York you have probably seen Kevin Thurston/Kate/A fat female/3 pm in jogging atire/Amory bragging about his new girlfriend(s).
If you joined a sorority in college, you probably had no friends/bought your friends/fucked your friends/annoyed your friends. This makes you a cheap and shallow slut/whore/dumbass/loser/conformist.
If you visit the NYC craigslist RNR, you know that the tattoo above the ass on a female is called a whorebrand/slut mark/trailor trash emblem and that it automatically makes you skanky/a whore/a slut/stupid/conformist/a fad follower.
Now that you have an idea of what goes on here at the WDC craigslist, be sure to be on the lookout for this afternoon's 3pm roundup/flagging festival/additional haikus and make sure you go outside once in awhile to sniff the flowers/get rid of your pasty ass/have a social life/search for Kevin Thurston.
Thank You, and have a nice day.