Originally Posted: 2005-12-07 9:20am
What to do when your kid is crying in public
Next time your kid starts wailing and screaming in public...here is a novel idea. Take the little demon seed away from those of us who are not there to revel in the howling.
When you are at the book store and your kid starts screaming, take little Damien outside until he shuts up. Do not stay in the store with the kid wailing so he can continue to disturb other patrons.
When you are in a restaurant and your precious little devil spawn starts bawling, take Baby Beelzebub outside. Do not wait. Do not stare into your plate and pretend like it is not happening. I am not paying for food with a side of eardrum ache nor is anyone else there. And if the food costs more than $20 an entree, consider whether or not young Asmodeus is really such an epicure that he needs a gourmet experience at 18 months...better yet, if you can afford the experience, you can afford to hire a babysitter. Kids under 5 simply do not belong at places like Morton's or Galileo. Better yet, there is likely a McDonald's up the street. Little Lucifer will probably be happier and the patrons at a finer establishment will not be contemplating just what exactly is and is not allowable under the justifiable homicide statute.
At the movies, if the kid is crying, take it outside. And why are you bringing your toddler to the movies anyway? Since Teletubbies--the Movie is not currently playing, what is it that they are getting this experience? And why are you bringing them to the 10PM showing? Shouldn't they be home and in their cribs?
And please don't inflict the passengers of the already miserable air travel industry with your screaming kids. Two or more hours in a sealed tube with non-stop screaming and/or seat kicking is enough for me to consider how I might kill myself and/or the little jackal with the small blunt items TSA still allows me to carry in-cabin. I am sure your little angel really needs to see Grandma or Mickey Mouse. I agree. And that is why Grandma should fly to you or you should drive to Mickey. And if you MUST fly, please, for the love of God, stay off the red-eye. Nothing like flying from LA to Washington on an overnight flight and getting no sleep because some 9 month old future B-move actress was practicing her slasher-pic screaming by howling...ALL...FRIGGIN...NIGHT. And with airlines removing pillows from flights in a "cost-saving" measure, there is not even the means to smother the little vermin. Also, for the sake of decency, stay out of first class. By definition, if your child is of an age where drooling on oneself is still a reasonable possibility, it probably does not need a 21" wide seat with 40" of legroom plopped amongst 15 business travelers who intended to work on the flight but, instead, are being soothed by your little demon's four hour aria of wailing.
I could go on, but what would be the point. There will be a slew of posts from indignant parents who are going to say that their kid should be allowed anywhere at anytime and that kids cry and everyone else has to deal with it. But you know what? I did not sign off on you having a kid. I did not agree to share in the revels of the screaming and whining and other annoying behavior that your child is hellbent on inflicting on the public. You unilaterally chose to inflict your progeny on the world and, if you are like many parents, you refuse to control the little animal.
All I ask is that you try and remember that some of the people around you are not all that enthused about the screaming, the crying, the running around and other things that come from being with small children. If we are in McDonald's, we are asking for it, I grant you. But in fine restaurants, nicer stores, libraries, airplanes, business environments and similar venues, think about how your mini Mephistopheles might be impacting the experience for other patrons.
post id: 116412782
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