You won't miss me...
1/ You are ruining my self-esteem. All this talk about who takes showers and who's hair is pretty and who's fat and who's skinny and who looks good in what and what's too ugly... I'd always thought I had relatively decent self-esteem. I thought I looked good, weighed right, stayed in shape... I'm a solid 5'8", 125 1bs, with 34DD, 26" waist and 36" hips. Hourglass, shapely, definitely not fat. (by my standards). But by CL standards? I'm only good for porn and insults.
2/ You are ruining my career. I get obsessed with a certain conversation and I spend my day clicking on this link, going to that city, replying to this post... all at the cost of my job. I don't like my job, I admit. I also admit I'm bored at work a good 85% of the day. But before I became addicted, I would waste time on websites like cnn.com or even theonion.com, which at least is Clever. Now... I waste my day here and don't learn a thing in the process.
3/ You are ruining my sense of self. I thought I was a happy, decent person. I thought I knew what I wanted. But there's no way the whole world can be this unhappy and me be happy. I must be wrong. I must be unhappy with everyone else! Can someone please direct me to drugs? Either legal or otherwise? (Wait, I meant "need 420 hookup" so only other fellow drug users will know what I'm talking about...)
4/ You are ruining my political, religious, moral viewpoints. For every viewpoint I hold, some totally ignorant fool will post something that not only makes me ashamed to agree with him, but desperate to disagree. And that confuses me... how do I disagree with something simply to not align myself with ignorant radicals? and yet, the opposing side is filled with ignorant radical extremists... who do I claim to be? Who do I defend? And how can I be honest with my beliefs and positions and still be respected by the CL community? Am I a rich, snotty republican or a dirty, immoral democrat, am I pro-life (and therefore must have adopted AND be a misogynistic pig) or a mass murderer that believes in genocide as well. Am I white or black? I've been called so many things through this anonymous network, that I don't know anymore! I can't even tell if I'm racist or not! I can post the most irrefutable, researchable, and obvious theory, and yet I will recieve 30 emails ranging from "you're a dumb fuck" to "that's wrong, read this" to "YOU MISSED A FREAKING PERIOD! WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU!"
5/ Speaking of which, you are making me question my education. I was valedictorian of my HS class. I obtained a BA in English from UVA, a Masters in Management... and now, I feel the need to reread, rewrite, spell-check every little post I make at the risk of using a misplaced modifier or ending a sentence with a preposition and being labeled an uneducated, illiterate fool.
6/ And last, but not least, You are ruining my relationship. Until the moment I became addicted to CL I was happily married, in a wonderful relationship with a man that loves me dearly and I believed would never be unfaithful. Now, I've become a paranoid, psychotic bitch. Our dinnertime conversation each night goes something like this: "Honey, on CL today a man posted that he loved his wife but she didn't give him enough head so he was forced to cheat on her... do I give you enough head? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME????" To which my dear husband responds "Darling, on CL today a woman posted that while her husband was at work she fucked the mailman... was that you?" To which I respond "My dearest, statistically (according to CL) ALL MEN CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES. Just tell me the truth!" To which he responds "Love of my life, all women are whores looking for a gangbang... CL proves it!"
As a result of these conversations, our sex life is ruined because I can't run the risk of catching a disease because he's cheating (obviously) on me... and he's combing CE to ensure that there's not a posting on there that says "Sexy married woman, 36-26-34DD, seeking random hookups while husbands works late in order to make up for the lack of love and excitement in current relationship". And the moment he gets off the computer, I go (first to Bearshare to delete the porn he's downloaded) and then to CL to scan the M4M to ensure there's no : "STR8 married man looking for blowjob from well-hung male on lunch break. Please be discrete. Email pics."
So... in the interest of maintaining my marriage, my career, my self-esteem, my moral values, and (not the least of all) my sanity, I'm leaving CL once and for all.
But first, let me make sure my husband isn't posting in Casual Encounters... one last time... that cheating bastard! (I love you, J-baby!)