As you can see from the picture, we're talking about one glorious freezer here. It could probably be described as "The King of Freezers." You can just imagine all the incredible uses for this glorious freezer:
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1. Keeping things cold
2. Making sure things don't get warm
3. Hiding things (as long as they're OK to get cold)
4. The list goes on and on...
It's quite reasonable to want this freezer; you may even want to BUY this magnificent example of applicance perfection. I can see you now opening up a new browser and pointing it at your checking account balance to see what you've still got. Maybe you're even pointing it at www.eloans.com to see how much you qualify for. Don't. Because I've got a deal for you.
You pay me exactly one "getting it off my driveway" and you get exactly one "glorious freezer."
It's that simple! It's that terrific! Can you see the fireworks? Can you hear the trumpets? They're all around you!!
Some of you are probably a little cautious at this point, so let's get into some specifics so you know what you're getting:
Height: not quite as tall as I am
Weight: jeez...I dunno...a lot lighter than when it's loaded with fish sticks!
Color: that's an easy one - white
Functionality: apparently, it works. Guaranteed? Hell, no. But it's FREE!!!
Personality: a little on the cold side but still knows how to open up (hah!!!)
Questions? I'm not going to answer them! It's free!! It really was working the last time I unplugged it. If you want it, come get it. Email me and I'll give you the address it's currently squatting at. Did you know it's okay now to end sentences with prepositions? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preposition#English_prescriptive_guidelines
If you write me, you get the address. If you visit, you can see if the freezer is still there. If it's still there, YOU GET IT!! If it's not, you may cry. I'll hold you. Once the freezer is gone, I'll remove the post.
It may look dirty in the picture, but that's mostly due to camera tricks. Camera tricks and all crap on the side of it. But seriously, these days EVERYTHING is a carcinogen! What's a little black lung between friends?
I think that's all. Thank you all. You've done a great service for our country today. I await your e-outpouring of e-love.