ugh you bug me lube guy
So picture my average day is 12-16 hours long 4 times a week.
When I get to my second job I'm already a zombie and I'm there to bag crap for 8 bucks an hour and go home.
So today, this guy comes in and buys a few things, including lubricant. (like astroglide) He had it flipped over so I couldnt see what it was but unfortunately, neither can my scanner. so when I flip it over, he flips out on me and says "I'm not respecting his privacy!"
Like are you kidding me? What the mother fuck was that all about?
I'm like "okay, sorry, what?"
He goes "you dont have to like examine what I'm buying you know, you can just scan it"
First off buddy, the barcode is on the back, which you had facing up, THAT IS WHAT SCANS IDIOT. Secondly, I dont give a rats ass what you are buying, you or anyone for that matter.I dont even look at the screen or the products, if I hear a little "beep" thats my signal that it's rung through. If it doesnt beep then I flip it over most likely still looking at the next item up, not examining what is in your purcahses. the only thing I have to put any thought into is produce becasue they are coded,and even then I mistake gala apples for Fuji's and what have you, seriously, I'm not paying attention.
Third, you think you are the only one with such purchases? How do you think lil ol granny feels when she buys depends undergarments? I bet she just loves bringing those up, thats got to be just a blast for her.
How about the people who have to buy wart cream, hemmorhoid crap, whatever the fuck it is, there is some shit that I'm sure most people would prefer to get from a vending machine rather then to face another human being.
Lucky for you I'm too zoned out to even notice. I cant tell if you're buying rash cream or salad dressing in a tube.
So here's my tip ,if you dont want to bring attention to yourself, dont make a fucking scene! Go to a pharmacy where buying lube is the least of the evils they see considering they give out prescriptions for std's, rash's etc, somer fucking lube is probably the joy of the day, at least you aint sick!
For the record, I cant speak for every grocery clerk, but I for one don't notice what goes in your bag. I coudlnt care less if you only buy organic, or like your flavoured bottled water. With 200 people a day at least through my checkout, I wont even remember you the next day much less if you had some lube in your bag.
I will however say this. The one thing I notice is a single carrot. People buy like 5 apples, lettuce, 4 tomatoes, bag of mushrooms, 3 onions,and then there it is, 1 single carrot, wrapped in a bag.Now I read in Vice magazine last month a report of produce that is best used in leu of a dildo,and carrot came out on top. I think its the shape maybe, the ribbed texture, the fact that it is neither too big nor too small for either a vagina or an asshole, take your pick and gender..
So I'll admit it, unless you also have 1 piece of celery, 1 apple, 1 tomato, 1 carrot might seem a bit out of place with all your other purchases.
But hey, I aint judging, carrot, eggplant, whatever you want to stick wherever you want it, its only my job to make sure you pay for it. Wether you get what you pay for later is up to you.
So unless you are buying 1 carrot AND a bottle of Lube, Take comfort that I dont care what you are buying or why.
Have a nice day!
p.s Paper or plastic?
- no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests