Originally Posted: 2009-11-14 8:45pm
Advice for all those nice guys - w4m
I'm a woman who has dated a lot of shitty assholes.
Really, a lot.
I have had many nice guy friends, and nice guy suitors, who I've failed to get excited about. And, believe me, I've tried.
I beat myself up, decided I was a self-abusive wreck. But I'm not. I figured it out:
Those assholes got my attention, my interest, not by being assholes. Not even by being particularly physically attractive (seriously, you should see some of these trolls and their poor personal hygiene!). No, they acted nice at the start, they were sweet, attentive, made nice shows of affection.
The problem has been that the nice guys are so nice, and respectful, and considerate, that they've always given me space, aren't pushy, and are just ten tons of sweet. It's endearing, yes, but it doesn't push all of the necessary buttons. When they go in for a kiss, it's a short, quick one, not a long, passionate one where they pull me towards them and make my knees go weak.
So, the assholes swoop in, give a show of nice, turn up the heat, and I swoon, and then it all goes horribly wrong, BECAUSE THEY'RE ASSHOLES.
There's no reason the nice guys can't learn to do it, and still be nice.
So, guys, (NICE guys): lean in close when I'm talking, be a little bit more aggressive, stare a little longer, grab me and kiss me passionately. Make me swoon over the RIGHT guy, for once. Please.
Of course, I won't actually know the difference until it turns out you're still nice after a few months, but, fuck! wouldn't that be a nice surprise?
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