I have been a longtime fan of the Brazilian wax. In fact, I kept up my biweekly wax appointments throughout the duration of my 5 year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't want his progress to be impeded by an unruly bush. Yup, trim, prim and not-so proper is the way I like it. But when we broke up, I got into a little bit of a funk. I didn't keep things up quite the way I used to.
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Fast forward to now, a very important date is happening this weekend. Like the considerate gal' I am, I booked a wax appointment for yesterday evening after work so that I'd be bump-free and good to go. You know, in case the evening was going to go "that way", (God, I hope it does!) Yesterday morning, my boss strolls into my office and says we need this worked on, and it has to be delivered by noon on Friday. No problem, 'cept that it's about 50 hours of work that needs to be done in two days. You see the mathematical challenge this provides. So, needless to say, I missed my wax appointment.
Now that my week is sitting in a giant toilet bowl, I need drinks and nookie more than ever on this weekend. That left me to do the unthinkable: Bust out the Weed Whacker and trim those hedges myself. Picture this, if you will: A grown woman (30 years old, if you must know) sitting in her bathtub with manicure scissors in one hand and a razor in the other, sobbing uncontrollably. No, I didn't injure myself. I discovered that with neglect, my pubes grew back in at an alarming rate. And some of them were *sniffle* GREY! Yes, that's right, I gots me some granny bush between these legs.
So to all those out there currently taking frequent trips to Rio via their trusty waxer, don't ever miss that appointment. You don't want to know what's going on with the foliage in that there jungle.
Verification word (I shit you not): MERDE
ps, stuff like this happens to me all the time. No, seriously, it does! Don't believe me? http://www.livejournal.com/~deweyintoronto/