best of craigslist > toronto > To The Creepy Guy At The Nude Beach...
Originally Posted: 2006-08-31 12:16am

To The Creepy Guy At The Nude Beach...

Ok so i guess its expected, you'll find some creepy people at the nude beach...its a freaking NUDE beach right? Mostly perverts and old men. Ok fine. My boyfriend and I were on a date before he left to work overseas. We were riding our bikes along the trails on the island. The perfect date. ahh the sun was shining, the sky was blue and i just washed my hair with that new herbal shampoo. we notice a sign "nude beach" this way. we figure why the fuck not? so we venture forth. we agree before hand, "we'll just stay WAY off to the side we can swim in our undies and just leave, noone will bug us" sweet zombie Jesus were we wrong. you my friend creeped us out far before you said anything. Standing oddly close to us, though there was plenty space for you to be away from the "action" and us as well. no no. you had to be right there! so you proceeded to stretch and get limbered up for a nice nude jog. *eww* so fine my bf and i exchange some uneasy looks but decide to continue with our rock skipping. ahh we should have run. run far and fast when we had the chance. Now we remain scarred for life. *Sigh* so anyways we continue...ahh weird guy. So you decide to remove the already "leaving-little-to-the-imagination" blue shorts. Well you were hard. But, no that wasn't the worst. Naturally my bf became very uptight after several stern looks we went to grab our jeans *we were in long t-shirts and undies* you decided to exercise nude. Bending so you’re uhh..."back button" was in clear view. CLEAR view. Someone didn't wipe properly... so we went over to our bikes and began to furiously unlock them. You, apparently oblivious to our distress, began to talk to us,

Nude Guy- "Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"...
BF-"OH...NO...NOT AT ALL!"(My boyfriend replied sarcastically)
NG-"so you guys going to get nude?”...
ME-"NO"...
NG-"oh you guys shy? Yeah me too, that’s why I’m over here"
(Yeah not because there are two young people *we look about 16* "talk about a predator")
BF-*yeah we just didn't want to swim in our undies at the normal beach and there’s no way we aren’t getting naked, so yeah..."
NG-"yeah yeah...uhh so you guys adventurous or anything...?
ME- "adventurous?"
nude guy: "yeah like i know this girl, nice girl huge boobs, maybe we could like swap?"
BF-"you wanna take my gf? What the-"
NG-"Well are you bi-sexual at all?"

(at this point let me just tell you his penis has been fluctuating in hardness. its kind of pointing and then drooping, then kind of erect and waiving about and then soft and twitching... at the mention of bi-sexual i thought it was going to knock the wind out of him. I’ve haven't seen anything snap into action that fast since Valentines Day 2003...but that’s another story;) )

Bf: NO…
NG: oh...

(His penis almost falls off, I haven’t seen anything die that fast since my mom walked in on us...but that’s another story)

NG: well how about if I give you my number and we hook up some other time?
ME: yeah I left my pen and paper over there, so uh, let me just go...get…yeah

Grabbed the bikes and booked it, well I’ll never be the same and my boyfriend has been damaged, thoroughly… I’d just like to thank you nude guy. You fucking ruined the last time I got to see my boyfriend. Before he left. And the best part? The best part you sick prick. I didn’t even get good-bye Sex! You bastard, you deprived me of my so long bang! your ogling him and bending and gyrating just killed our sexual urges. It’s been about 3 weeks and only my vibraters are there to comfort me. I hope you’re happy you sick crusty fuck! I hope you get raped…TWICE. (but then again you’d probably like it)


  • this is in or around Toronto island
  • no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 201177233

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